I work with men and women, as individuals or as part as a couple, who want to enhance their sexual pleasure and feel more confident and at ease in their sexual lives.

I fully support all forms of consensual sexual activity between adults and my clients are people who know how important sex is to their well-being, confidence and sense of fulfilment and who are not willing to settle for a second rate sex life.

ARE SOME OF THESE STATEMENTS TRUE FOR YOU?

I feel as if my sex life has become boring and stale and I just don't feel like having sex anymore. I want my sexual energy back.

Many clients experience a loss of interest in and lack of desire for sex. Sex has lost its excitement. It has become routine and mechanical and you want to bring feelings of passion, spontaneity and exploration back into your sex life.

I don't know how to ask for what I want.

If you're like many people, you lack the confidence to tell your partner what you like or what you might like to try. Poor or non-existent communication accounts for many of the concerns that trouble people's sex lives. What you desire often remains an unspoken thought in your head. You may be too scared to risk rejection, ridicule or mockery. Your fear of the other person's reaction is holding you back from sharing your sexual desires and making your capacity for fulfilling sexual connections fraught with anxiety, guilt and confusion. Sex coaching takes the fear, frustration and disappointment out of sex and puts in place clarity, confidence, playfulness, joy and self-respect.

I don't know what I want. I might as well give up trying.

You have become used to very little or no sex and are trying to persuade yourself that it doesn't matter. 'I'm not really missing out'. Perhaps you lack knowledge and/or experience and want a supportive environment in which to learn ways to explore your sexual potential.

My partner and I are having sexual problems but neither of us is acknowledging this. It is starting to affect the whole of our relationship.

Usually when people start having sexual difficulties, they will do almost anything rather than admit and confront the issues they are facing. Perhaps you feel that you do not want to hurt your partner's feelings or are trying to hide from yourself the extent and consequences of your sexual disappointment and frustration. As good sexual communication, especially in long-term/'serious' relationships, depends upon a strong and honest emotional connection with your partner, ignoring what is happening is the worst thing that you can do. Your sense of intimacy with another person can soon become infected with the feelings of failure and resentment that are caused by unresolved sexual concerns.

I have difficulty getting or maintaining an erection.

You put yourself under tremendous pressure to 'give' your partner an orgasm. Worries about 'will I be up to it?' can stop you even getting started and lead into a cycle of avoidance and despondency. Sex often becomes something that is rushed into, which is likely to disappoint you and your partner and perpetuate your lack of self-confidence.

I find it hard to orgasm with a partner/on my own.

You 'try' to orgasm but it isn't happening. In fact, the harder you try, the less likely it becomes. You feel sexually disconnected, both from yourself and from your partner. Perhaps you don't know what turns you on and fear of failure and disappointment is stopping you from finding this out. Becoming overly anxious about reaching the 'goal' of orgasm means that you can't enjoy the journey because you are too focused on the destination.

Is my body 'good enough?'

Instead of focusing on your pleasure, insecurities about your body get in the way. Neither your appearance nor your age has anything to do with the quality of a person's sex life. Yet many people allow anxieties about ageing and their desirability to inhibit and spoil their sex lives. The problem is not your age or your body, but your feelings about your body and ageing. You want to lean how to relax and calm your anxieties about your body image and recognise that, for many people, sex gets better with age.

Am I good in bed?

Concerns about sexual performance undermine your enjoyment of the moment. Sexual satisfaction has a lot to do with being emotionally 'present' during sex, and focusing on another person's desires will make this almost impossible for you to achieve. Instead of expressing who you are, you are too worried about what you do.

I'm sick of pleasing other people all the time. What about me?

You have become used to putting the sexual needs of your partner before your own and this is leading to frustration, resentment and hopelessness. You need to find ways to allow your own pleasure to be as important as your partner's.

I think I may be obsessed with sex/porn/masturbation.

You believe that aspects of your sexual behaviour are becoming compulsive and you feel as if you are losing control over your need for sexual expression. You would like to examine your current sexual behaviour and work out whether it is serving you well or whether you would like to regain the control and personal power to act from choice rather than compulsion.

• You are ready and willing to take responsibility for your own sexual pleasure.
• You are excited about trying new ways of thinking and look forward to exploring different options and choices that will reconnect you to your sexual self and erotic energy.
• You recognise it is necessary to examine some of the beliefs and values that you have - your own unique 'sex rules' - around sexuality and sexual fulfilment.
• You know that sex is important enough to take the time, energy and commitment to make the changes that will empower and energise your sexual experiences.
• You are committed to no longer settling for second best and are not prepared to settle for anything less than the best sex life that you can create.
• Now that you know more about the people that I work with and some of the problems and issues that I help them to resolve, click on this link - RESULTS AND OUTCOMES - to find out more about the benefits of sex coaching,

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