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WELCOME TO THE OCTOBER ISSUE OF VENTURESQUE

  

the ADVENTUROUS issue 
 

Welcome to all of my new subscribers and a warm greeting to all of my regular readers.

 

 

I am revived from a glorious week in the new Forest, down near the south coast here in the UK, which coincided with our hot hot hot spell. We spent a wonderful week by the beach and whirling crazily down the flume in our on-site swimming pool.

 

 I am also pleased to announce that my words of wisdom feature very heavily in this week's edition of More magazine (see page 36). This has spurred me on to look at the idea of sexual adventurousness for this month's newsletter. The More article is about ideas of what it means to be adventurous and how to identify when you need to spice things up and how to know that things are ok as they are.

    
AND REMEMBER! 

 

SPECIAL COACHING OFFER FOR SUBSCRIBERS TO VENTURESQUE

 

As a thank you to all the support and feedback I get from you , my loyal readers, I would like to offer a special discount rate for subscribers to Venturesque.
 
A BLOCK OF 4 COACHING SESSIONS WITH ME WILL COST ONLY £200,  instead of the usual £250, for all new clients who are subscribers to this newsletter, Venturesque.
   
Tell me the email address that receives Venturesque and we'll have a chat about how coaching can help and inspire you to a brighter sexual future.

  

This offer is for the first 4 sessions only. After that, the fee reverts to the usual £250.
  
NEWSLETTER ARCHIVE AVAILABLE HERE  http://www.uksexcoach.com/newsletter-archive.htm

DETAILS OF MY COACHING SERVICES AND MY
SEX, SELF AND SPIRIT COACHING PROGRAMME AVAILABLE HERE http://www.uksexcoach.com/fees-and-services.htm

 

ARE YOU A SEXUAL ADVENTURER?

 

In the More article, sexual adventurousness seems to be largely defined by two factors: frequency and variety of sexual positions. Undoubtedly, this represents a narrow and limited perspective on sexuality and sexual potential. My work has consistently shown me that the greatest improvements in the quality of our sex lives come from TAKING EMOTIONAL RISKS and BEING CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO COMMUNICATE WHAT YOU LIKE.

 

I am not saying that extending your sexual repertoire to include different positions, locations, props, toys etc cannot make a difference. Of course it can. Focusing on technique, performance and frequency ignores the truth that all the technique in the world cannot bring you good sex if you still aren't getting what you want and you are not willing to take the risk of being true to your sexual self.

 

FREQUENCY - It is pretty common for a couple to be mismatched in terms of their desire for sex. It is also common for issues that have nothing to do with sex but are clearly related to factors in a person's life and relationship to affect the need and desire for sex. A first step in sex coaching is to work out your ideal frequency for sex and that of your partner, if you are in a relationship, and to trace the development of your levels of desire from the beginning of your current or previous relationships to its present status. This makes it possible to identify factors that may dampen and elevate desire and to establish the relative levels of desire for sex for a couple, when both of them are happy and content together and in their lives as a whole.

 

POSITIONS -  The three most common sexual positions are the missionary, doggy style and girl on top. Many people are happy alternating these three with additional oral and maybe 69. If you are bored, it is incredible easy to search online for alternative sexual positions or buy a book to inspire you. There is little excuse to being stuck in a routine sex life when it is easy and exciting to try and change it. You never need to say you've been bored with what you've had. You can make changes by saying you want both of you to explore your potential, get to know each other better and discover each other's sexual boundaries and inspirations.

 

RISK-TAKING - means being brave enough to tell a partner what turns you on. The more of your sexual self you can give to another, the better the quality of the sex. This is true for long-term relationships primarily. During casual sex the novelty and excitement can be enough to keep you interested, no matter how satisfying the sex really is. Or it can be a disaster! When you are in a sexual relationship over time, unless you do become emotionally closer and find out more about each other's sexuality (likes, dislikes, style, quirks etc), your sex life will stall leaving you both dissatisfied, angry and bored. Being honest carries risk but few things that are valuable can be gained without risk. Please do not become obsessed with believing that 'perfect' technique and stamina alone will sustain your relationship. It will not.

 

AUTHENTICITY - is at the root of all coaching. Being sexually authentic means that you can show and share all aspects of who you are sexually; your happiness, joy, fears, anxieties. It means that you DO NOT COMPARE yourself to other people and measure your sexual satisfaction in relation to what you think everyone does. It means that you are without shame about your sexual likes and turn-ons and can accept other people's. It means that you do not allow yourself to worry about what other people might think about your sex life: you  value yourself as a sexual person and take pride in who you are.

 

If you look at these four elements in your sex life, most sexual difficulties can be identified, addressed and resolved. I think you always need some sense of adventure to keep sex interesting but what defines adventure for each person is going to vary widely. Sex coaching is the best tool for allowing you to make your own rules and be confident enough to only have the adventures that will bring you the most happiness and fulfilment. 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 WHAT CAN YOU DO TO BECOME MORE ADVENTUROUS?
 
DON'T GO TOO FAST, TOO SOON. Sometimes when clients are ready to make changes, they get carried away and try and work through numerous new and 'interesting' positions in one session. This rarely leads to good sex, although it can be funny. Both of you need to exchange information about what you are interested in trying and then choose something and give that a good try before adding more adventure into the mix.
 
You could try creating sex wish lists for each other. Write down some ideas about what you would like to try and swap with your partner. Your partner is then responsible for making your wishes come true, at some point in the following week. If you have trouble thinking of things, go online and seek out something that interests you.
 
Be more sensual. Don't' forget that being naked, stroking and massaging each other can give you new information about each other's sexuality if this is something you tend not to do too often.
 
Know each other's turn-ons and turn-offs Improving your sex life does require reflection and being willing to use your knowledge about your sexuality to become more connected to your sexual self. Think about times when sex has been especially good or bad and identify your top five likes and dislikes. Be prepared to share these with your partner. Choose one of your partner's top 5 turn-ons and make sure that this is part of a sexual experience in the next week.
 
Make it fun The more confident you become in the value of what you bring to sex, the easier it will be to experiment and become the adventurer you want to be. Ask your partner to tell you five things that you bring to sex that s/he values.
 
You do not need to stop at adding in new positions. You may find both of you want to explore alternative sexual lifestyles. Extending your sexual boundaries is part of the great adventure. Did I mention? Working as a sex coach has enabled me to create many exercises that make it easier for you to explore your sexuality. These exercises are given freely to my clients and are not available anywhere else.






gold bannerWHO AM I?

You have been reading a newsletter lovingly crafted by me,
Dr Tara Few, The UK Sex Coach. I work as a sex, relationship and singles coach. 
 
Sex coaching helps you to make sex about pleasure not performance. You can increase your confidence, calm your sexual anxieties, explore your sexual style and remove the emotional and physical blocks that might reduce your capacity for sexual and sensual pleasure. I work with people who have chosen to do all that they can to make their ideal sex life a reality.
 
Relationship coaching helps you to communicate more successfully, reduces conflict and enables you to understand your own and your partner's needs, priorities and desires by working out what's not working, what needs to change and how to move forward.  It is also about fun and excitement and discovering things about yourself and each other that you never knew.  My clients are people who feel that something important is missing from their relationship and who often aren't sure whether the relationship is worth saving.
 
Singles coaching will help you to reflect upon the role that you want a relationship to play in the new and exciting life that you will make for yourself. Are YOU ready for a relationship? Well find out.  I work with people who want to build their self-knowledge, self-esteem and to massively increase their confidence, optimism, purpose and joy in life. 

               
WOULD YOU LIKE TO WORK WITH ME? 
 
 
I coach individuals and couples to get in touch with what makes them sexually happy, confident and fulfilled, resolve relationship dissatisfactions and help  you to discover a life full of hope, passion and purpose.
 
 
Sex, relationship and singles coaching helps you to examine your life, your relationship (or lack of one) and sexual satisfaction and enables you to bring back optimism, courage and direction to the sex life you create and the person you want to become. 
 
 
GET YOUR SELF, YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND YOUR SEX LIFE BACK IN BALANCE.
 
The first step is easy.
 
Get in touch with me now to arrange a free consultation.
 
 I offer a free 20-30 minute consultation, in which we can get to know each other better and decide how well we might work together.
 
If you know that your sex life is making you feel frustrated and
frustrating, bored and boring, undesirable and without desire, then get in touch to arrange a time for us to talk.
 
Almost all sexual problems are resolvable when you face up to where your sex life is going wrong. You can choose not to settle for second-best and to make your sex life about confidence, pleasure and play rather than sadness, resentment and disappointment.
 
 
My website can be found at  www.uksexcoach.com
 
Visit my blog at http://venturesque.typepad.com
 
 
I would love to hear any comments, suggestions about issues you would like to read about in future and I am happy to answer reader questions in future newsletters.
I will never limit your sexual potential and fully support all forms of sexual behaviour between consenting adults.
 
 
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