UK Sex Coach, Sex Coaching

<<< BACK TO THE NEWSLETTER ARCHIVE PAGE

WELCOME TO THE JULY ISSUE OF VENTURESQUE

Welcome to all of my new subscribers and a warm greeting to all of my regular readers.

It's beautiful here in sunny Glossop. Eden is happily settled in nursery now and I have nearly 3 days when I can work uninterrupted and connect with a part of me that isn't only a mother. Summer is also birthday season. Eden will be 2 in July, as will most of her friends, meaning many lazy afternoons spent with friends, cake and wine whilst watching over scampering children.

This month's tip is a novel use for a mirror for those lucky relationships that share exhibitionist and voyeuristic thrill-seeking.

The main article discusses and interesting piece of research into the differences between efficient sex and amazing sex.

The sex question asks you to think about your most memorable sexual moment.

SPECIAL SUMMER COACHING OFFER - EXCLUSIVE TO YOU!!!

The summer months are always my quietest time and so I am making a very special offer exclusive to readers of Venturesque.

A BLOCK OF 4 COACHING SESSIONS WITH ME WILL COST £200 during July and August, instead of the usual £250.

If you are interested, email me on tara@aragoncoaching.co.uk and we'll have a chat about how coaching can help and inspire you to a brighter sexual future.

NEWSLETTER ARCHIVE AVAILABLE HERE http://uksexcoach.com/newsletter-archive.htm

DETAILS OF MY COACHING SERVICES AND MY

SEX, SELF AND SPIRIT COACHING PROGRAMME AVAILABLE HERE http://uksexcoach.com/fees-and-services.htm

DR TARA'S TOP TIP : MIRROR MIRROR

This tip is from a survey by Cosmpolitan with men about the most memorable sex moves they had experienced.

One man explained that what he loved most was for his partner to give him oral sex in front of a mirror, so he sees a glorious view of her from the back and can also see exactly what she's doing to him. He gets to watch himself as if he were on screen.

I see no reason why this could not be successful giving oral sex to a woman :-) You might just need to paly around with positioning a bit to find a position comfortable enough.

Some people's sexualities find exhibitionist/voyeurism to be highly erotic and the use of mirrors in their sex play allows this to be expressed in a way that is unlikely to be a no-no from a partner.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EFFICIENT SEX AND AMAZING SEX?

There is a little-known piece of research by Masters and Johnson (called Persons Studied in Pairs) during the 1970s that looked qualitatively (i.e. asking participants for their own opinions and feelings) at the question of what makes for truly amazing sex.

Masters and Johnson were world-leaders when it came to the early scientific study of sex. They wanted to gain an insight into what factors make up great sex. They compared short and long-term couples and gay/lesbian and straight couples. The short-lived couples were so short-lived that they met at the research centre and were paired up by Masters and Johnson.

Masters and Johnson concluded that sex could be seen as efficient or amazing. Efficient sex is uninhibited and goal-directed. Both partners could orgasm but it was not valued as special or out of the ordinary by participants.

The stranger couples were more likely to have efficient sex. From talking to many people about sex, I would agree that casual short-lived encounters can be pleasurable, can lead to orgasm but it is rare to experience truly mind-blowing sex with someone you do not know very well. I think people want to be seen as sexually impressive when they first meet. They want to show what they can do and this concentration on athleticism and performance is a recipe for efficient but not necessarily great sex.

The long-term couples were more likely to report amazing sex. The best sex of all was had by gay and lesbian couples. The factors identified by Masters and Johnson as making up an amazing sexual experience are probably just the same now as they were 40+ years ago.

to have amazing sex you have to take your time. With couples who sexually teased each other, moved slowly and lingered at each step of arousal, people said that the sex was special and extraordinary. All the long-term couples took longer and teased more than the new couples.
being able to feel turned on by your partner's sexual pleasure is another factor. Experiencing the power and pleasure of another's arousal proved highly exciting for those people reporting the best sex. Straight men in particular seemed to be sometimes quite mechanical in their arousal strategy (according to their partners)and rarely reported a sense of 'losing their self' in the sexual experience that many gay and lesbian participants felt.
being aware of your partner's precise level of sexual excitation adds another layer of the extraordinary to their experience. This means that you can stop-start and build arousal and suspend your partner in a pre-orgasmic state to heighten eventual orgasm (when you allow it!)
focusing attention on the whole body also feels good. Straight men and women tended to focus almost exclusively on their partner's genital area. Gay and lesbian couples lavished attention on the whole of their partner's body.
the gay and lesbian couples talked more, communicated more openly about what they enjoyed, what they wanted more of. Open sexual communication is essential. You can never expect that your signature sex move (if you have one!) is going to work on everyone.