It's not a name that I find particularly appealing but, name asides, this is a variation on doggy style that offers clitoral stimulation as well as making the woman feel 'full', if you know what I mean. Alright I'll come out and say it. If you have a male partner, this position will make him feel bigger inside you.

The most trouble I have with new positions is trying to describe them in a way that you can make sense of. I describe in terms of partner A and partner B so that all combinations of male and female are equally catered for.

 

It is like doggy style but partner A's feet are off the floor and so blood will rush to their head. Some people like this heady feeling. Others don't. Partner A bends over a stool or chair. A bed is no good because you need to be able to rest your hands on a floor.Position your pubic mound and clitoris against the padding of the stool/chair so that some friction can be generated in that department. Partner A's hands rest on the floor, with feet off the ground. Partner B penetrates A to their mutual satisfaction! B can try to rub the small of A's back. This is thought to be a sexual energy centre by Tantric practitioners and it is often a very sensitive but neglected area of the body.

 

 

What you will do is remember to tune in to what you say to yourself whenever sex seems a possiblity. What happens before you are sexual often determines what the experience will be and feel like for you. 

 

Sometimes people find that they have a whole raft of excuses to avoid sex and that their sexual fears are such that they withdraw from sex after listening to a few rounds of their negative beliefs.

 

Write down what you have discovered. You then need to take each belief and challenge it. Find out how 'real' it is. Confronting fears is the way to manage them. We can't always make our fears disappear but we can all find ways to deal with and keep moving forwards sexually despite them. Our beliefs seem very plausible because we know them so well. We don't question them. We allow them to help us to make choices that may be preventing us from enjoying our sexuality. We created them to save us from potentially hurtful or embarrassing situations. Unfortunately, saving ourselves from possible hurt also prevents us from learning and growing as a sexual person.

 

The one thing to take away from this exercise to discover what you would like to be able to say to yourself when you feel yourself feeling or wanting to be sexual and then going on to explore ways to make this happen.