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WELCOME TO THE DECEMBER ISSUE OF VENTURESQUE
 THE FRIVOLOUS ISSUE
In honour of the festive season this month is a frivolous issue. Christmas can be a stressful time for people (singles and couples) and so I have dedicated an issue to maximising the fun factor in your life.
Having a baby (lovely as she is) has made me realise that sometimes you need to make an effort to have some fun. It is relatively easy to do fun, interesting things when you have few restrictions on your time and energy. Far harder when you are tired, grumpy and spend most of your time looking after an adorable but demanding, hungry little baby. When you feel that your life has become too routine and predictable you have to create exciting times. It is your choice to remain cocooned in a humdrum existence: your choice to make something good happen.
My top tip is a Xmas Wish List to share with your partner.
The main article gives you some ideas for sexy pressies.
The sex question asks YOU to find out new things about your partner's sexuality. |
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DETAILS OF MY COACHING SERVICES AND MY
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DR TARA'S TOP TIP
XMAS WISH LIST
This exercise is for couples.
Write down 3 things.
1. Something you would like to do with your partner.
2. Something you would like your partner to do to you.
3. Something you would love to do to your partner.
Ideally, make it something sexy. Carving out time together over the Christmas festivities can be tricky with family commitments intruding upon your sexual bliss. Even sharing what you have written with your partner can give you something to look forward to.
The alternative for single people is to write down 3 things that you want to do for yourself over the holiday season. If at the end of Christmas you find you have done none of them, then take a look at how much you value yourself and find a way to reward and treat yourself for being who you are.
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 WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS? What would my Christmas newsletter be without some pointers to sexy pressies - for yourself or for others.
1. We-Vibe Clitoral and G-Spot Vibrator
This something that seems self-explanatory but I do believe it to be possibly even more exciting than it sounds. As well as being a very attractive purple colour, it is designed to be used alone or worn inside the vagina during penetration. It promises to get everything buzzing.
2. Smart Balls
These are like classic Ben Wa vaginal balls, which stimulate, exercise and massage the vaginal and pelvic floor muscles. The Smart Balls are from Germany and are made of silicone. They also have a set of even smaller balls inside them to generate some pretty damn orgamsic sensations.
3.The SaSi Intelligent Vibrator
This intriguing vibrator makes a claim to intelligence on the basis that it actually remembers what turns you on. Yes, it has 'unique Sensual Intelligence technology', which means that it can learn and then remember the movements and stimulation that you like the best. It has both 'favourites' and 'customise' modes of random patterns and pulsations. Find a pattern of stimulation that you like, press the 'don't stop' button and it carries on until you want it to stop.
4. Something Sensuous
Not everybody likes to be turned on by a sex toy but most people do enjoy the sensuousness of fabric against their skin. Silk, velvet, lace, feathers, leather - buy something you can use to caress and tease your lover.
5. Deck The Balls
Well, why not? I am indebted to my partner Simon for this idea. I'm not sure that he thought I would actually include it as it mainly made us laugh but, really, what is not to like in this idea? As your man sleeps peacefully - and just for fun - find some little Xmas-type bells/decorations and adorn his testicles in a festive manner. Careful with any holly though. He will wake up to one hell of a surprise. It's quite silly but laughter and sex are the best combination of all.
6. The Pink lady Fleshlight
This one seems to be very popular with devotees. It is a soft sleeve that surrounds the penis, offering what purports to be realistic vaginal sensations. You can immerse it in hot water to pre-heat it so that it feels more like skin and flesh. Apparently it comes in a canister so you can pretend to everyone that it's just a torch. And it smells of vanilla and makes a bold claim that it is impossible to wear out.
7. The Tenga Flip Hole Masturbator
This little item likes to think of itself as the greatest sex toy for men ever made. It is a state-of-the-art masturbation device that has 3 operating modes to create separate, individually controlled actions. You can stimulate at different points along the shaft using the sleeve with rudges, bumps and nodules to create a variety of exquisite sensations.
8.Bondage Tape
This solves any rummaging for scarves or rope. Specially designed bondage tape can be used on wrists, ankles and over the eyes. It has self-cling properties and is easily and painlessly removed.
9. Chocolate Body Paint / Strawberry Body Pens
Warm them up, squeeze them out and apply artistically with brush or pen. Then lick off. Slowly.
10. 52 Weeks of Naughty Nights
This is a scratch card game to keep you busy all year. Each card has a sexy dare, suggestion or challenge for you.
So, a quick rundown of what is new and popular out there in sex toy world. Anything take your fancy, give it a go and let your imagination run wild.
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 THE SEX QUESTION this month is a bit different because I am asking YOU to ask the questions.
Most of us never delve very deeply into our partner's sexual psyche. We probably think we do but really we are skimming the surface. Speaking about and listening to our own and other's sexual feelings is a very intimate experience and one that many people find much more difficult than the most physically intimate of acts we might engage in. Emotional honesty is far more unusual than physical intimacy. We might do sexual things with people but never entertain the idea of sharing our innermost thoguhts with them.
So, if you have a partner and you would like to know and be known more, resolve to find out 5 things about their sexuality (their thoughts, feelings, fears and fantasies) that you did not know. It is up to you what questions you ask.
What I am interested in is how you feel as you are listening to what they say. You will most likely get the opportunity to share as well since most people, when asked, will ask back.
This is an exercise to get you used to emotional intimacy, something that undoubtedly enriches any relationship and to understand the value of letting someone you care about into your sexual world.
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 WHO AM I?
You have been reading a newsletter lovingly crafted by me, Dr Tara Few, The UK Sex Coach. I work as a sex, relationship and singles coach.
Sex coaching helps you to make sex about pleasure not performance. You can increase your confidence, calm your sexual anxieties, explore your sexual style and remove the emotional and physical blocks that might reduce your capacity for sexual and sensual pleasure. I work with people who have chosen to do all that they can to make their ideal sex life a reality.
Relationship coaching helps you to communicate more successfully, reduces conflict and enables you to understand your own and your partner's needs, priorities and desires by working out what's not working, what needs to change and how to move forward. It is also about fun and excitement and discovering things about yourself and each other that you never knew. My clients are people who feel that something important is missing from their relationship and who often aren't sure whether the relationship is worth saving.
Singles coaching will help you to reflect upon the role that you want a relationship to play in the new and exciting life that you will make for yourself. Are YOU ready for a relationship? Well find out. I work with people who want to build their self-knowledge, self-esteem and to massively increase their confidence, optimism, purpose and joy in life.
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WOULD YOU LIKE TO WORK WITH ME?
I coach individuals and couples to get in touch with what makes them sexually happy, confident and fulfilled, resolve relationship dissatisfactions and help you to discover a life full of hope, passion and purpose.
Sex, relationship and singles coaching helps you to examine your life, your relationship (or lack of one) and sexual satisfaction and enables you to bring back optimism, courage and direction to the sex life you create and the person you want to become.
GET YOUR SELF, YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND YOUR SEX LIFE BACK IN BALANCE.
Get in touch with me now to arrange a free consultation.
If you know that your sex life is making you feel frustrated and frustrating, bored and boring, undesirable and without desire, then get in touch to arrange a time for us to talk. I offer a free 20-30 minute consultation, in which we can get to know each other better and decide how well we might work together.
Almost all sexual problems are resolvable when you face up to where your sex life is going wrong. You can choose not to settle for second-best and to make your sex life about confidence, pleasure and play rather than sadness, resentment and disappointment.
I would love to hear any comments, suggestions about issues you would like to read about in future and I am happy to answer reader questions in future newsletters.
I will never limit your sexual potential and fully support all forms of sexual behaviour between consenting adults.
I WOULD LIKE TO ENLIST YOUR HELP IN BUILDING MY READERSHIP.
PLEASE FORWARD THIS EMAIL USING THE LINK BELOW TO ANY PEOPLE YOU THINK WILL BE INTERESTED. |
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