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WELCOME TO THE AUGUST ISSUE OF VENTURESQUE
Welcome to all of my new subscribers and a warm greeting to all of my regular readers.
I don't have any cheery greeting this month. It's been a bad month for me and I hvae written about it here.
http://venturesque.typepad.com/venturesque/2010/08/not-viable.html
This month's tip is a variation on an old favourite, The Lion.
The main article suggests three of the most tricky sexual positions if you feel like a challenge and are feeling especially strong and flexible.
The sex question asks you to consider what will be different of your needs are being met? |
 SPECIAL SUMMER COACHING OFFER - EXCLUSIVE TO YOU!!!
The summer months are always my quietest time and so I am making a very special offer exclusive to readers of Venturesque.
A BLOCK OF 4 COACHING SESSIONS WITH ME WILL COST £200 during July and August, instead of the usual £250.
If you are interested, email me on tara@aragoncoaching.co.uk and we'll have a chat about how coaching can help and inspire you to a brighter sexual future.
DETAILS OF MY COACHING SERVICES AND MY
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DR TARA'S TOP TIP :THE LION. Grrrr.
As the bulk of this newsletter features some highly advanced (some might say ridiculous and extremely uncomfortable) sexual positions, here is a simple twist on a familiar favourite. The Lion is a version of doggy style but instead of the woman being up on her knees, she remains standing up and bends over and holds on to her legs/ankles. Yes, you do need flexible hamstrings for this one.To make this a tad more interesting, the woman can make a narrow V shape with her fingers and place this over her vagina. This then becomes an extra tight hole for the man to push through.
Do not forget that different positions serve a purpose and that is to vary the angle of penetration and so give you a range of sexual sensations. Doggy style itself is highly versatile. The woman can lie flat, on her knees and elbows and all the changes you make allow you both to experience a range of sexual feelings and to alter the visual stimulation that you get from your partner. |
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THE TOP 3 MOST CHALLENGING SEXUAL POSITIONS
From your feedback I know that you like to be challenged and here are three positions to really give you something to play with.
Standing-up, upside down cunnilingus
Nicole Beland, in Sex:The Whole Picture, calls this 'the grandaddy of oral sex positions'. It is certainly something out of the ordinary. I imagine you can visualise what this might look like but are perhaps less confident that you could actually achieve it. The man needs to be able to hold the woman upside down with her legs either side of his face so that he can reach her vagina and clitoris by bending his head. The woman can support herself a bit by holding on to his thighs and/or bottom but it is just a damn tricky position to stay in for any length of time.
If you do care to try, instructions for the lifting phase are as follows. He must 'bend at the knees, his left hand on her right hip and his right hand on her left hip. then, in one motion, lift and twirl her body around'.
The man needs to be strong, very strong and the woman needs to be pretty light but even then it's a struggle.
Reverse crabwalk from cowgirl
This is a move to glide into from reverse cowgirl (woman on top but facing away from her partner). This is not so difficult but it is not at all comfortable if you're upper body strength is less than top notch.
So you are straddling him, facing his feet. The next step is to lean backwards supporting yourself in a crab or crabwalk position, which is basically up on your arms. This position is also prone to missing the penis syndrome. The woman is supposed to move her hips up and down using her legs for thrust. If he supports her bottom there is less likelihood of this happening as he can control the action a bit more reliably. If all goes well the penis will stimulate the front wall of the vagina, which is great but there are far easier ways to manage this. If you are feeling athletic I think this one is easier than the first. Anything is easier than the first and I am basing this not only on can you get into a position but also how much sexual arousal/excitement can you experience.
I am limited in the positions I include here as they need to be something that can be relatively easily described. Other positions that are quite preposterous have been left out just because they are so difficult to describe.
This one is not so hard but is uncomfortable for the woman. Especially if she has dodgy knees. From a kneeling stance, she leans back until she is lying with her legs folded beneath her. She could raise her arms above her head so that her breasts are taut. The sides of her body are more accessible than normal and she feels exposed, which can be exciting. But a reminder that it is hard on the knees so stop if you feel any pain. The man can use his imagination about quite how he wants to penetrate her.
Sexual excitement feeds on variety. New angles of penetration feel different for both and different positions allow new views of your partner's body. Sometimes less is more, I think ,but the thing about positions like this is they are fun to try but not something I would recommend to impress a new partner at first. Trying too hard comes to mind in that context. Working with people I have found that many people do not enjoy highly tricky sexual positions until they feel comfortable with their partner. Too much emphasis on technique too early on is actually a big turn-off for many people. I mean no-one is ever going to say to me that they feel their sex lives would be fantastic if only they could manage to do standing-up, upside-down cunnilingus.
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THE SEX QUESTION - With so much emphasis on the physical aspect of sexuality this month, the Sex Question takes us back to remembering the mind-body connection. I was speaking to a journalist this week about an article on sexual well-being and this made me question how often most people ever even consider how much their motions affect their desire.
People experiencing low sexual desire are especially prone to talk themselves out of sex before it has even started. This is because, in the majority of such situations, buried and unspoken resentment, anger and bitterness are at the root of your loss of desire. When you feel distanced from your partner, it seems that things he does to be close to you (touching, stroking) become a source of irritation. Clients often say that as soon as their partner touches them they are aware of thinking what's he doing now, why the hell doesn't he spend more time with the children, listen to me more, why can't he know that I don't feel like sex etc. It's what you are thinking but also the fact that your mind-body connection is blocking sexual flow. Clients frequently complain that their partner doesn't know how to meet their needs. Usually, the client realises that they have made little effort to be explicit about what these needs are!
In these situations, we need to address the root cause of dwindling desire as well as work on empowering you into a new and vibrant experience of your sexuality and one of the most useful questions has been:
When X is more understanding of my needs, what will she/he be doing differently?
This gives us clear answers about where change needs to begin. |
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 WHO AM I?
You have been reading a newsletter lovingly crafted by me,
Dr Tara Few, The UK Sex Coach. I work as a sex, relationship and singles coach.
Sex coaching helps you to make sex about pleasure not performance. You can increase your confidence, calm your sexual anxieties, explore your sexual style and remove the emotional and physical blocks that might reduce your capacity for sexual and sensual pleasure. I work with people who have chosen to do all that they can to make their ideal sex life a reality.
Relationship coaching helps you to communicate more successfully, reduces conflict and enables you to understand your own and your partner's needs, priorities and desires by working out what's not working, what needs to change and how to move forward. It is also about fun and excitement and discovering things about yourself and each other that you never knew. My clients are people who feel that something important is missing from their relationship and who often aren't sure whether the relationship is worth saving.
Singles coaching will help you to reflect upon the role that you want a relationship to play in the new and exciting life that you will make for yourself. Are YOU ready for a relationship? Well find out. I work with people who want to build their self-knowledge, self-esteem and to massively increase their confidence, optimism, purpose and joy in life.
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WOULD YOU LIKE TO WORK WITH ME?
I coach individuals and couples to get in touch with what makes them sexually happy, confident and fulfilled, resolve relationship dissatisfactions and help you to discover a life full of hope, passion and purpose.
Sex, relationship and singles coaching helps you to examine your life, your relationship (or lack of one) and sexual satisfaction and enables you to bring back optimism, courage and direction to the sex life you create and the person you want to become.
GET YOUR SELF, YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND YOUR SEX LIFE BACK IN BALANCE.
Get in touch with me now to arrange a free consultation.
I offer a free 20-30 minute consultation, in which we can get to know each other better and decide how well we might work together.
If you know that your sex life is making you feel frustrated and
frustrating, bored and boring, undesirable and without desire, then get in touch to arrange a time for us to talk.
Almost all sexual problems are resolvable when you face up to where your sex life is going wrong. You can choose not to settle for second-best and to make your sex life about confidence, pleasure and play rather than sadness, resentment and disappointment.
I would love to hear any comments, suggestions about issues you would like to read about in future and I am happy to answer reader questions in future newsletters.
I will never limit your sexual potential and fully support all forms of sexual behaviour between consenting adults.
I WOULD LIKE TO ENLIST YOUR HELP IN BUILDING MY READERSHIP.
PLEASE FORWARD THIS EMAIL USING THE LINK BELOW TO ANY PEOPLE YOU THINK WILL BE INTERESTED. |
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